


We're All Trash

by thequeenofcatlandia



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Heathers (1988)
Genre: F/F, I've Fallen Into Be More Chill Hell, It's Just Random Crap, M/M, Pinkberry, There's no plot, boyf riends — Freeform, god help me, meremy hell, richjake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenofcatlandia/pseuds/thequeenofcatlandia
Summary: The Be More Chill gang messes around on a group chat. Hilarity ensues.





	1. And So It Begins

heereandqueer has added mellinhell, lifeisamusical, pinkberrybabe, 83protons, seemerolan, queenbitch, and redhoodieboy to a group chat.

heereandqueer has changed the group chat name to Squad.

queenbitch-Why am I here?

mellinhell-Why are any of us here?

mellinhell-What’s the point of anything if we’re just specks of dust in the grand scale of the universe?

heereandqueer-Michael, buddy, you okay?

mellinhell-No.

seemerolan-It’s far too early in the morning for existential questions.

lifeisamusical-Jenna, hun?

seemerolan-Yes?

lifeisamusical-It’s four in the afternoon.

seemerolan-WELL, I just woke up so it’s morning in my book.

queenbitch-Again, I must ask. Why am I here?

heereandqueer-So, we’ve been hanging out a lot for the past few months so I thought we needed like a friend group chat. Sorry, that sounds stupid.

pinkberrybabe-No it doesn’t! This is a great idea!

lifeisamusical-One of the best!

mellinhell-Rich.

83protons-Yeah?

mellinhell-What’s with your username? Are you really into the periodic table and I never knew?

83protons-Google it.

heereandqueer-Wait for it.

pinkberrybabe-What?

mellinhell-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!!

83protons-aaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy.

lifeisamusical-How did you know that was going to happen?

mellinhell-Jeremy has actually been psychic this whole time.

heereandqueer-Michael and I are in the same room.

seemerolan-What are ya boys doing in there?

heereandqueer-We’re studying.

mellinhell-He’s giving me a blowjob.

queenbitch-DEAR GOD!

pinkberrybabe-MICHAEL, WHY?!

lifeisamusical-You know, there are some things in my life I don’t need to know about. And the sexual endeavors of two of my best friends is one of those things!

83protons-Wait you’ve been texting while giving him a bj?

mellinhell-Yup.

83protons-Skills.

seemerolan-Great, now I have that image in my head.

redhoodieboy-I’m so confused right now.

mellinhell has changed their name to mellinheere.

queenbitch-scREECH!

heereandqueer-Hey Jake, where have you been?

redhoodieboy-First, you guys are way too grossed out by that.

redhoodieboy-Second, I’ve been doing stuff. 

seemerolan-”Doing stuff”. Who's this “stuff”, Jake. ;)

redhoodieboy-NO! That’s not what I was doing.

redhoodieboy-I have to go, bye.

redhoodieboy has left the group chat.

mellinheere-***shady***

pinkberrybabe-What’s our boy up to? :(

seemerolan-He’s probably just fucking someone.

lifeisamusical-Jenna, I trusted you!

seemerolan-Nooooo! Don’t leave me!

lifeisamusical-People’s sex lives are none of our concern!

seemerolan-I’ll stop! Please don’t leave me!

lifeisamusical-Fine. <3

seemerolan-<3

mellinheere-Well, speaking of fucking, Jeremy and I have some unfinished business to attend to so...

mellinheere has left the group chat.

heereandqueer has left the group chat.

queenbitch-scREECH!


	2. Secrets, Nicknames, and Heathers References

seemerolan has added mellinheere, heereandqueer, and redhoodieboy to a group chat.

mellinheere has changed their name to mellinhell.

queenbitch-Thank God you changed it.

mellinhell-Oh come on Chlo, we all know you and Brooke were doing the do while we were gone.

pinkberrybabe-He’s right. ;)

lifeisamusical-BROOKE!

queenbitch-Why did you call me Chlo?

seemerolan-Christine, why act so innocent?

lifeisamusical-JENNA!

queenbitch-MICHAEL! Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? Why did you call me Chlo?

83protons-RIP Michael Mell.

83protons-He lived a good life.

83protons-Wait, was that a Heathers reference?

mellinhell-HOW ABOUT WE REDIRECT THE CONVERSATION!

lifeisamusical-Rich, you’ve seen Heathers?

83protons-Yeah, it’s probably my favorite movie.

mellinhell-LET’S TALK ABOUT HEATHERS! I LOVE HEATHER!

heereandqueer-Really? Which one?

mellinhell-Well how many Heathers are there?

pinkberrybabe- There’s three of them.

mellinhell-What the h*ck?

83protons-Why did you censor “heck”?

mellinhell-Because it’s a fucking bad word.

mellinhell-Wait, Jer, you’ve seen Heathers?

heereandqueer-Yeah, Christine made me watch it once while you were in the hospital.

mellinhell-Which time?

lifeisamusical-When you tried to do a backflip in Heelys.

mellinhell-Ah yes. Fun times!

queenbitch-You had a concussion?!

mellinhell-Wow, way to be a downer Chlo.

mellinhell-Shit.

queenbitch-YOU ALMOST GOT AWAY!

mellinhell-SPARE ME!

queenbitch-NEVER!

pinkberrybabe-Chlo, sweetie.

queenbitch-Fine.

queenbitch-You survive this time Mell.

mellinhell-WAIT WHY DOES SHE GET TO SAY IT?!

queenbitch-She gets to say it beCAUSE SHE’S MY LOVING GIRLFRIEND!

seemerolan-Hey Jake, how ya doin?

heereandqueer-Wait, Jake’s here?

redhoodieboy-I’ve been here this whole time.

mellinhell-And I’ve been in Heere this whole time. ;)

pinkberrybabe-Why must you hurt me this way?

lifeisamusical-Hi Jake! What have you been up to?

83protons-Probably up to his***shady***business.

redhoodieboy-I’m not doing anything shady.

mellinhell-Sounds...

mellinhell-***shady***

redhoodieboy-Trust me!

redhoodieboy-I’ve got to go, bye guys!

redhoodieboy has left the groupchat.

pinkberrybabe-WHat’s he up to?!

seemerolan-I know what he’s up to.

heereandqueer-Of course you do.

heereandqueer-Wait wHAT?!

seemerolan-Yeah, I know.

lifeisamusical-Jenna, as you know, I don’t want to know every detail of my friends personal lives. I respect their privacy but…

lifeisamusical-WHAT IS HE DOING?

83protons-Guys, leave him alone!

seemerolan-I can’t tell you guys completely, but it does have something to do with Rich.

83protons-Wait, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! Uploads will probably slow down in the following days, so watch out for that.


	3. What Jenna Knows

83protons-What do you MEAN, Jenna?

seemerolan-That’s all I can say! I’ve been sworn to secrecy!

seemerolan-All will be revealed in a few minutes!

83protons-What do you MEAN?

83protons-Why is Jake outside my door?

seemerolan has added redhoodieboy to the group chat.

redhoodieboy-Rich, we’ve been friends for years.

redhoodieboy-And you’re one of the only things I can trust.

redhoodieboy-I wasn’t confident enough to say what I’m about to say out loud.

mellinhell-The shit just hit the fan.

redhoodieboy-So Rich.

redhoodieboy-Will you go out with me?

seemerolan- …

83protons-YES YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

pinkberrybabe-Yaaaayy!

lifeisamusical-Awwww!

queenbitch-Finally.

mellinhell-OKAY.

mellinhell-SO.

heereandqueer-Michael, babe, what are you doing?

mellinhell-That was very cute, and congrats on getting together, and Brooke I owe you twenty dollars.

83protons-What.

mellinhell-BUT.

redhoodieboy-Were you guys betting on when we were going to get together?

mellinhell-NO ONE HAS REALIZED!

queenbitch-Jenna instigated the betting pool.

lifeisamusical-JENNA!

mellinhell-JAKE STOLE MY BRAND!

heereandqueer-What?

mellinhell-Riddle me this Jeremy,

heereandqueer-What is happening right now.

mellinhell-What is the article of clothing that I have been wearing every day since seventh grade?

heereandqueer-Your red jacket?

mellinhell-AND WHAT IS ONE JAKE DILLINGER’S USERNAME ON THIS CHAT!

pinkberrybabe-redhoodieboy

mellinhell-I rest my case.

queenbitch-Except for the fact that your’s is a jacket and Jake’s is a hoodie. Also, your’s has patches and Jake’s doesn’t. AND they look nothing alike.

mellinhell-Oh.

queenbitch-I rest my case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in only two days! I probably won't update for a while, but I also redid the last to chapters. Added more content, fixed typos. Thanks for the support!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos clear my skin and water my crops. The more response I get the more frequent updates will get.


End file.
